Youth Philosopher Gifts

"First they make you button your own shirt, then they make you tie your own shoes...you gotta ask yourself ? where's this all heading?"

The end of innocence

"My problem is I grew up too fast."

'From now on, can you give me my allowance in travelers checks?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"One year closer to college!"

"Could I ask just one question?"

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

Multi-Generational Books

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

Life after death

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

"I went back to warn them, but they already knew and didn't seem to care."

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"Why did God make fruit if he also made candy?"