Modern Youth Philosopher Gifts

'I'm worried about Junior. He's so lazy he won't even take his own selfie.'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

The Googler

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

"One year closer to college!"

"Could I ask just one question?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

Multi-Generational Books

Screen Time vs Book Time

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

"Will follow you on social media for food."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

Mark Zuckerberg

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

"I've always wanted an empire of Distance Learning Campuses."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

'I'd go back if I were you.'

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'