Teen Philosopher Gifts

'You mean if I want extra money I have to go to work? That's your job, dad.'

"I'm proud of you...you're reaching that age where you're thinking about the future...you're making decisions about your life, what you want to do, what you want to be..."

"IRL sucks."

'So, from now on, due to economic conditions, you'll be our son on a contract basis, renewable every year. Any questions?'

"I did a lot of thinking in study hall today."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

"One year closer to college!"

"Could I ask just one question?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

Playdough's The Republic

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

I think I can, I think I can ... therefore I think I am...

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

A young positivist.

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"