Child Philosopher Gifts

"Why did God make fruit if he also made candy?"

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."

"Could I ask just one question?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

Playdough's The Republic

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

I think I can, I think I can ... therefore I think I am...

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

A young positivist.

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"

"I think it's time we learned to stand up for our selves."

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

"I'm tardy? Whew! I was afraid I was going to be late for school!"