Child Philosopher Pillows

"Why did God make fruit if he also made candy?"

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"Could I ask just one question?"

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Playdough's The Republic

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

I think I can, I think I can ... therefore I think I am...

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

A young positivist.

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

"I think it's time we learned to stand up for our selves."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

Sex Education

Life on Earth - maths advice.

"I'm tardy? Whew! I was afraid I was going to be late for school!"