Adolescent Philosopher Gifts

Sex Education

"My father would never let me marry a boy with a combover."

"'Baldo, why did you do this?'...'Baldo why did you do that?' The trouble with being a teenager is that nobody understands me! And that includes me."

The big life questions that really get us thinking.

"I just broke up with my boyfriend. He said if I really loved him, I would get a job and help him buy a car."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Could I ask just one question?"

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Playdough's The Republic

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

I think I can, I think I can ... therefore I think I am...

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

A young positivist.

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

"Why did God make fruit if he also made candy?"