Old Age Philosopher Gifts

"I like you a whole lot better when you was alive."

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

"I'm here for the hair."

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"I know I'm going to get older - but how much?"

Midlife: You Are Here.

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

"It's a coming of old age story."

Realizing that his youth was now behind him, Mr. Twigly left home at the sight of his first gray hare.

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

Balding Autumn Tree.

"Do you know the biggest thing I've learned in my thirty nine years?"

"Date of birth?" "1989." "In 1989 I couldn't make ice... still can't." "Good lord, she could be my daughter! I'm so #!@* old." "That's the year my wife left me. Now I have a cold and I'm depressed!"

Mall of ages

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

Phil at Fifty: Still Trying to Find Himself

"So, Ms. Mayfly. Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"Who knew a lifeless box could spread such fear? It came from the mailbox."

'My doctor didn't have enough replacement parts, so I'm just getting by on two cylinders.'

'But my mom says that 40 is the new 30.'

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

Happy Birthday!

The march of time, "Have you noticed how all the umpires seem to be getting younger"

"If I were a dog I'd only be 11."

I always think of old age as ten years older than I am.