Philosopher On Aging Gifts

"You won't be needing this anti-aging cream."

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'Any chance of me being recycled Doc?'

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

Balding Autumn Tree.

"It's a coming of old age story."

Mall of ages

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

School of hard knocks: Mail box 'Knock-knock jokes'

"So, Ms. Mayfly. Where do you see yourself in five years?"

'How optimistic are you about the future?'

"If I were a dog I'd only be 11."

'Well, you know what the say...near death is the new 80.'

"Since you retired, you've gone to pieces!"

"I hope I age as well as you, Dad. Except for the neck."

Glass/Cans/Geriatrics.

"Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for you."

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

"The senior moments don't freak me out as much as the 'Death in Venice' moments."

'Edward turned on the bathroom light only to find his father staring back at him.'

'I'm middle aged.' 'You'll grow out of it!'

A long way towards retirement...

"Apparently, 60 is the new dead."

How do medicines work? They don't! All they do is give God time to heal the body!

'Hasn't anyone ever been cured of natural causes?'

Grim Reaper Santa

"at my age I have to wonder if it's indigestion or a heart attack." (two old men discussing aging and medical concerns)