Philosophy Of Aging Gifts

When I was young I worked at being hip, now I hope my hip keeps working.

'The only part of my body that defies gravity is my age.'

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

'Any chance of me being recycled Doc?'

When her hex on ageing failed, Grizelda opted for the mobility - broom.

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

Mirror mirror...

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

Mall of ages

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"It's a coming of old age story."

Balding Autumn Tree.

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.

'I wish I could look just like Elvis.'

"So, Ms. Mayfly. Where do you see yourself in five years?"

An old lady has her varicose veins tattooed to look like plants

"I knew Mary would dump me when my fleece got a little gray."

'How optimistic are you about the future?'

"If I were a dog I'd only be 11."

"I hope I age as well as you, Dad. Except for the neck."

Dr. Ernie answers your questions about aging. A reader asks, "Dear Dr. Ernie, what will deteriorate fastest as I get older?" Medicare.

'Well, you know what the say...near death is the new 80.'

"Since you retired, you've gone to pieces!"

"Isn't it time you shaved that off?"

Glass/Cans/Geriatrics.

'You're getting too old for this game, Scott. ... They say the legs are the first to go.'

A long way towards retirement...

"Apparently, 60 is the new dead."

"The senior moments don't freak me out as much as the 'Death in Venice' moments."

'I'm middle aged.' 'You'll grow out of it!'