Mid-life Transition Gifts

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

"I'm coloring it a little bit at a time, so it won't be noticeable."

The fate of the emigrant

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

He kept up his guitar practise...

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"Your contents have shifted."

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

"Just when did you acquire those tattoos, Warner?"

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

The Gingerbread Man Hits 50.

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"I'm here for the hair."

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

'Where Are They Now?'

"This old bike of mine has sure lost some if its speed over the years."

'You again? You know it's called a mid-life crisis, not mid-week!'

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

We micro-grafted all the hairs from the back of your head to the top and now we've completely covered your bald spot.'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

"The cape comes off too."

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Hon, I'm taking your advice and starting a new chapter."

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."