Midlife Transitions Gifts

Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she could deal with her midlife crisis. You should try a radical makeover. When I hit midlife, I dyed my hair, got some tattoos, and dropped 75 pounds. My husband barely recognized me when he returned from overseas. He was not happy with my "new self," so I divorced him rather than change who I'd become. It was the best decision I'd made since I cut my thieving mother out

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

ZZZZZZZ Top

Middle-Age Superheroes

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"I'm here for the hair."

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

"You used to be that ambitious."

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

We micro-grafted all the hairs from the back of your head to the top and now we've completely covered your bald spot.'

"This old bike of mine has sure lost some if its speed over the years."

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

"The cape comes off too."

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

Midlife: You Are Here.

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'