Midlife Transitions Pillows

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"I'm here for the hair."

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

We micro-grafted all the hairs from the back of your head to the top and now we've completely covered your bald spot.'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"This old bike of mine has sure lost some if its speed over the years."

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

"You used to be that ambitious."

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."