Midlife Journey Pillows

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"I'm here for the hair."

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

"This old bike of mine has sure lost some if its speed over the years."

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

"You used to be that ambitious."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

We micro-grafted all the hairs from the back of your head to the top and now we've completely covered your bald spot.'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

"You've come to a fork in the road – age-defying or age-appropriate?"

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'