Mid-life Journeyer Pillows

'You can always spot the ones having a mid-life crisis.'

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

'I've used up all my eligibilities'

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

'I appreciate the fact that your husband likes my bike, but can you tell him to quit drooling all over it?'

Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.

Lawrence of Suburbia

'Yeah, I hate change, too.'

'Don't know what's wrong with it. Just doesn't seem to attract women anymore.'

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

A Classicist Considers Taking Up The Mambo

"Well, did you get motorcycle riding out of your system?"

A sign hangs from the front of the Sunnyvale Nudist Camp - 'Join Today - 100% Off!'

'In denial and loving it!'

'FYI, Stevens, nobody likes a middle-aged slacker.'

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

'Why couldn't your father have a normal midlife crisis, buy a convertible, or even have an affair with some young bimbo?'

'My husband is one of those born again bikers.'

"I can't tell if I feel tired because I'm older, or I feel older because I'm tired."

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'