Metabolism Mavens Gifts

'I envy your metabolism.'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Muscles

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

"Like that?"

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

'Surely they're not ALL still in their offices!'

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

Medieval headlines.

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

There's a popular new health spa down there. The endorphins are having a blast in aerobics. Antibodies are learning kickboxing and the adrenaline is getting some much needed relaxation in the yoga studio. The only problem is the water molecules. Everybody is concerned about them! What's wrong? They haven't been seen since they went into the sauna!

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

Body Building Mishap

Dracula Admires His Offspring.

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

Don't bother Daddy -- he's just upset because Lady Godiva joined the anti-Crusade movement.'

"Gotta go. My ten o'clock is here."

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

The Venerable Bede

"My biggest strength is probably my quads."

'That was your grandfather -- his catapult went off while he was cleaning it.'

'It's the people downstairs again.'

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

"I love strong coffee."

In his Last Moments, A Soldier Seeks Forgiveness for his Sins (History of the Crusades).