Metabolism Mavens T-Shirts

'I envy your metabolism.'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Muscles

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

"Like that?"

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

'Surely they're not ALL still in their offices!'

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

Medieval headlines.

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

Body Building Mishap

Don't bother Daddy -- he's just upset because Lady Godiva joined the anti-Crusade movement.'

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

"Gotta go. My ten o'clock is here."

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

"I love strong coffee."

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

'It's the people downstairs again.'

The Venerable Bede

In his Last Moments, A Soldier Seeks Forgiveness for his Sins (History of the Crusades).

"My biggest strength is probably my quads."

'That was your grandfather -- his catapult went off while he was cleaning it.'