Monarchy Mavens Gifts

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

"Like that?"

'Surely they're not ALL still in their offices!'

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

Medieval headlines.

'Isn't that the ghastly couple we met last summer in Rock?'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

Don't bother Daddy -- he's just upset because Lady Godiva joined the anti-Crusade movement.'

'A Connoisseur Examining a Cooper'- George III Inspecting Engraving of Oliver Cromwell

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

"Gotta go. My ten o'clock is here."

The King and His Real Estate Advisors

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

'That was your grandfather -- his catapult went off while he was cleaning it.'

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

"He's so ostentatious about how un-ostentatious he is."

The Venerable Bede

In his Last Moments, A Soldier Seeks Forgiveness for his Sins (History of the Crusades).

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

'All those opposed, signify by using the usual sign.'

'I envy your metabolism.'

Department de Philosophie

"Mummy was right: - I should've married the dragon...!"

"It needs some work, but it does have good bones."

'We only stay together for the sake of the Holy Roman Empire.'

Vlad the Employer

'...Now we'd be expecting turning water into a decent '67 vintage at the VERY LEAST!'

Medieval boating on castle moat.

"All in favor of toupees, say aye."

"Your Majesty, according to our study the shoe was lost for want of a nail, the horse was lost for want of a shoe, and the rider was lost for want of a horse, but the kingdom was lost because of overregulation."