Monarchy Maven Gifts

The King and His Real Estate Advisors

"Men only want one thing: to form an alliance between your two nations."

'A Connoisseur Examining a Cooper'- George III Inspecting Engraving of Oliver Cromwell

'This doesn't look good -- the masses are huddling.'

Ghostwriting the Bible

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

Stonehenge Explained

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

Invisible clothes

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"Like that?"

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

"Kiss me and I'll turn into a Prince. But I have to be honest with you, if asked about it I'll deny the whole sordid affair!"

Moses as a child.

Cover Design for Yellow Book Prospectus for Vol 5 (Not Published)

"Do I have to go out again!?"

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

Masterpiece?

Bleak House

Don't bother Daddy -- he's just upset because Lady Godiva joined the anti-Crusade movement.'

It was a match made in heaven.

Life is ghoul

"He's good with crops, but slow to respond in an emergency."

'Side effects include, headache, dry mouth, muscle fatigue and turning into a frog.'

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'