Magical Maven Gifts

'I'm popping out for a brief spell.'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Ghostwriting the Bible

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Swiss army knife

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Myths and legends...

Invisible clothes

Stonehenge Explained

"Like that?"

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

Moses as a child.

"Kiss me and I'll turn into a Prince. But I have to be honest with you, if asked about it I'll deny the whole sordid affair!"

Cover Design for Yellow Book Prospectus for Vol 5 (Not Published)

"Do I have to go out again!?"

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

Magic Ring to gain entry into Tolkien Archive

'My crystal ball is in the shop. Pick a fortune cookie.'

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

Don't bother Daddy -- he's just upset because Lady Godiva joined the anti-Crusade movement.'

Life is ghoul

It was a match made in heaven.

C Day Lewis.

"Last chance, or Max here has ways of making you talk."

"He's good with crops, but slow to respond in an emergency."

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'