Metal Maven Gifts

"And they say this country doesn't make anything anymore!"

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

Death Metal Nite.

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

"Like that?"

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

"This is off our first TikTok."

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

The Euro.

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

'Ok, who's been playing rap music in front of the bird?!'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'My crystal ball is in the shop. Pick a fortune cookie.'

Nick Cave

"It's a cross between pop and rap. We call it 'pap.'"

Don't bother Daddy -- he's just upset because Lady Godiva joined the anti-Crusade movement.'

'U.S. Manufacturing'

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'There are shortcuts to making home brew, but taking a swig of malt extract and letting it ferment in your mouth isn't one of them.'

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

Life is ghoul

Leonard Cohen

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

'Side effects include, headache, dry mouth, muscle fatigue and turning into a frog.'

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

A squirrel uses a triangle to announce to other squirrels that a bird feeder has just been re-filled.

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.