Malt Maven Gifts

'There are shortcuts to making home brew, but taking a swig of malt extract and letting it ferment in your mouth isn't one of them.'

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"Was that my pager or yours?"

"Like that?"

Ski lift mobile

Nature Lovers

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

The Euro.

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

Don't bother Daddy -- he's just upset because Lady Godiva joined the anti-Crusade movement.'

"We'd like bruschetta, and we'd like it pronounced correctly."

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

'Knock it off, Gus! This is tough enough without your yodeling!'

Tour guide: 'And there's where we'll be setting up camp folks. Just at the base of that foothill.'

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

The Venerable Bede

'Waiter, I don't remember ordering this gristle!'

"I'm leaving you for someone who does care what we have for dinner."

In his Last Moments, A Soldier Seeks Forgiveness for his Sins (History of the Crusades).

'That was your grandfather -- his catapult went off while he was cleaning it.'

"And now, with the projected sales figures..."

"Popular astrologer and psychic Malder Tercado's contract with a national Spanish-language TV network was not renewed. Tercado was reportedly surprised by the news...saying he didn't see it coming."

"Mummy was right: - I should've married the dragon...!"