Mortality Maven Gifts

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

Ghostwriting the Bible

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Myths and legends...

Stonehenge Explained

Invisible clothes

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

"Like that?"

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

Moses as a child.

"Kiss me and I'll turn into a Prince. But I have to be honest with you, if asked about it I'll deny the whole sordid affair!"

'In memory of our beloved Skippy.'

Cover Design for Yellow Book Prospectus for Vol 5 (Not Published)

"Do I have to go out again!?"

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'We're able to cut back on legal fees by being more ethical.'

'I wasn't responding well to the pills but my doctor finally got my mood stabilized.'

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

It was a match made in heaven.

Don't bother Daddy -- he's just upset because Lady Godiva joined the anti-Crusade movement.'

'There are shortcuts to making home brew, but taking a swig of malt extract and letting it ferment in your mouth isn't one of them.'

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

"He's good with crops, but slow to respond in an emergency."

Greek Tragedy: 'Yes... we agree to further cuts in government spendings..!!!'

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

Mass Confucian