Millennium Maven Gifts

"Good lord, Agnes, the dreaded millennium bug has struck!"

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

'In memory of our beloved Skippy.'

So Far So Good

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

Jerk Gene

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

The Euro.

'A Connoisseur Examining a Cooper'- George III Inspecting Engraving of Oliver Cromwell

Bleak House

'U.S. Manufacturing'

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

The King and His Real Estate Advisors

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

'It's a gadget for buying gadgets over the net.'

'George, will you please look at me when I'm talking to you?'

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"And now, with the projected sales figures..."

'You can't win -- I turned the water into wine, and then everybody wanted free refills!'

"Popular astrologer and psychic Malder Tercado's contract with a national Spanish-language TV network was not renewed. Tercado was reportedly surprised by the news...saying he didn't see it coming."

"And they say this country doesn't make anything anymore!"

"Same thing every morning. Crack of Don at the crack of dawn."

Reading the Leaves.

"Don't worry about being in your 40's - before you know it, you'll be in your 50's!"

"Once we get the performance figures in we give them to Mrs Miggins and her magic cauldron to make sense of them!"

"Yes I can read palms and if you don't remove yours from my thigh, you'll be reading my palm with your face!"

"I'm charging you with trying to strike a happy medium."