Midlife Maven Gifts

'It seems with every year my hot flashes get worse.'

"Don't worry about being in your 40's - before you know it, you'll be in your 50's!"

RAF Rapidly Approaching Forty

'Business has been terrible all right, but I rather think more likely a midlife crisis.'

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

"Like that?"

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

The end is near

Podiatry. The greated podiatrist of all time, you say? Yep. I studied at his feet.

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

"Arthur, I need my space."

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

See? Whenever he's mad at me, he turns off his Touch ID sensor.

Pre-Old Blues

Look on the bright side...they'll probably name a disease after you.

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'Well, we're off for our xmas break - I'm sure you can manage without us for a couple of weeks.'

Vaccine hurdles

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'We're trying to use a team approach to medicine, but we're having trouble fitting everyone!'

'Where does it hurt?'

"Their bookshelves look more convincingly read from than ours."

'I wasn't responding well to the pills but my doctor finally got my mood stabilized.'