Midlife Maven T-Shirts

"Don't worry about being in your 40's - before you know it, you'll be in your 50's!"

RAF Rapidly Approaching Forty

'Business has been terrible all right, but I rather think more likely a midlife crisis.'

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"Like that?"

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

"Arthur, I need my space."

Look on the bright side...they'll probably name a disease after you.

The end is near

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

'Well, we're off for our xmas break - I'm sure you can manage without us for a couple of weeks.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

Vaccine hurdles

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

'We're trying to use a team approach to medicine, but we're having trouble fitting everyone!'

'Where does it hurt?'

"Their bookshelves look more convincingly read from than ours."

"It's my attorney. Have you seen my list of things about you that drive me crazy?"

'I wasn't responding well to the pills but my doctor finally got my mood stabilized.'

ANd the Oscar for the best special side effects goes to ASTRAZENECA!

'All he wants is sex, sex, sex!'

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'