Matrimonial Maven T-Shirts

And do you promise to love, honour and take out a whopping great pension.

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"Like that?"

'Motherhood is great, but I get a really sore back...'

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

'In memory of our beloved Skippy.'

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

"Arthur, I need my space."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

See? Whenever he's mad at me, he turns off his Touch ID sensor.

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

Maternity Unit - 'Congratulations! It's a midwife!'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"Call me Ishmael."

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

"It's my attorney. Have you seen my list of things about you that drive me crazy?"

'All he wants is sex, sex, sex!'

'And Remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

If Other Nations Mourned Like the U.S.

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

'You're docile enough alright, but I don't like how you grind your teeth while you sleep!'

Cupid

'Our ultrasound equipment is not working, so we've brought in famed psychic Jennifer Armstrong to give us a vision of the fetus.'

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

Mothercare - " I'm going to shop till I drop."

I have a dream.