Middle-age Maven Gifts

"Their bookshelves look more convincingly read from than ours."

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"Like that?"

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

Markets and Marketabilityby Jane Austen

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"Last chance, or Max here has ways of making you talk."

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

Don't bother Daddy -- he's just upset because Lady Godiva joined the anti-Crusade movement.'

"I ask you, what would life be like without similes?"

"My name is Jane and I've been forty-six for 30 days."

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

'It's had the best reviews I've ever written.'

The Venerable Bede

Trilby - 'The Moon-dial'.

"Tony and Stephanie are from Iowa."

'The rich get richer, the poorer get poorer..' '..And the comfortably off stay comfortably off!'

An empty 'crime' section in a bookhop

Sensitivity Reader

Whodunits

'That was your grandfather -- his catapult went off while he was cleaning it.'

In his Last Moments, A Soldier Seeks Forgiveness for his Sins (History of the Crusades).

Economic Changes Cuba.

CIA - Incognito/Outcognito.

"Mummy was right: - I should've married the dragon...!"

Shakespeare in the park Mickey Spillane in the alley.