Middle-age Maven Pillows

"Their bookshelves look more convincingly read from than ours."

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"Like that?"

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

Markets and Marketabilityby Jane Austen

If this van's a rockin'...

C Day Lewis.

Don't bother Daddy -- he's just upset because Lady Godiva joined the anti-Crusade movement.'

"Last chance, or Max here has ways of making you talk."

"I ask you, what would life be like without similes?"

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

"My name is Jane and I've been forty-six for 30 days."

'It seems with every year my hot flashes get worse.'

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

'It's had the best reviews I've ever written.'

Whodunits

Sensitivity Reader

'The rich get richer, the poorer get poorer..' '..And the comfortably off stay comfortably off!'

Trilby - 'The Moon-dial'.

An empty 'crime' section in a bookhop

"Tony and Stephanie are from Iowa."

In his Last Moments, A Soldier Seeks Forgiveness for his Sins (History of the Crusades).

The Venerable Bede

Economic Changes Cuba.

Hot flashes

'That was your grandfather -- his catapult went off while he was cleaning it.'

CIA - Incognito/Outcognito.

"Mummy was right: - I should've married the dragon...!"