Middle-age Maverick Pillows

'You know you're 40 when...'

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

Gene Therapy

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"Their bookshelves look more convincingly read from than ours."

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"My name is Jane and I've been forty-six for 30 days."

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

Luke Warm & Over E-Z: The World's Blandest Rappers.

Conformity

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

'Ever since this 'evolution' thing started, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching.'

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

Don't sweat the small stuff

"I'm going to get my old dog, get an old pickup, a double-barrelled shotgun, get my old pink cotton print dress, and get back on Route 66!"

'No batteries needed, but you have to be menopausal to make them work.'

"You're not losing your hair Dad, it's right here in your comb."

'I'm not that concerned about my prostate ... I'm still trying to survive my wife's menopause.'

Live: Middle Aged Men

'She says she's 40 but she's forgotten to add on the V.A.T.!'

Middle-Aged Punk...

"I'm not kidding, Phil! You really ARE the poster child for middle-aged, disillusioned and down-hearted businessmen everywhere!"

"I'd like to have money for a sports car, a surf course in the Maldives, and for my divorce!"

Life Begins at 40

Tarzan's mid-life crisis.

'Even though I'm in my fifties I feel I'm in the prime of life.'

'You can always spot the ones having a mid-life crisis.'

"Of course 40 is the new 39."

A former ranch hand, Dr. Durmley liked to show off his ability to rope and extract a tooth.'