Middle East Maven Gifts

Shimon Peres

Obama-Middle East.

The following infomercial on why Iran can't be trusted comes to you for a grant by Netanyahu.

Benjamin Netanyahu

Erdogan

"Like that?"

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

"Call me Ishmael."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"Their bookshelves look more convincingly read from than ours."

'It was accidentally reversed one day and our profits immediately skyrocketed.'

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

Don't bother Daddy -- he's just upset because Lady Godiva joined the anti-Crusade movement.'

"Yes, the migration flight home is always faster, but it's thanks to the prevailing winds, not just because we're keen to get home..."

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

Greek Tragedy: 'Yes... we agree to further cuts in government spendings..!!!'

'Psst. It's okay in here, but don't go around calling $690 billion 'chump change.''

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

'This is my new boat. I finally succumbed to pier pressure.'

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

Economic Changes Cuba.

The Venerable Bede

'This is my wife Hilda, who is quite a tomato herself!'

'That was your grandfather -- his catapult went off while he was cleaning it.'

In his Last Moments, A Soldier Seeks Forgiveness for his Sins (History of the Crusades).

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

"Tony and Stephanie are from Iowa."

George Smith Patton

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'