Military Maven Gifts

George Smith Patton

Dronin'

US Theatre Missile System Against China

Muscles

"Ninja bread men"

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

"Like that?"

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

'In memory of our beloved Skippy.'

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Upper West Side Story

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

The sunglasses.

Carbon Dating

Firearms Museum. Blunderbuss. That's funny, I always thought a "blunderbuss" was a messed-up kiss.

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

The hall of bad ideas.

The Exhibition at the Royal Academy

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

'Theaters from Hell.' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

"Call me Ishmael."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'