Modern Manners Maven Gifts

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

'I wasn't responding well to the pills but my doctor finally got my mood stabilized.'

'U.S. Manufacturing'

Blok conforming, with difficulty.

Bleak House

"Too much caution can take all the fun out of life." "Mind if I get a second opinion?"

'You've cured my insufferable conceit, Doc -- now I'm perfect!'

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

Doubling Gloucester Cheeses

"You’ll get nothingness and like it."

Brain and heart sweep away the negative

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

'It's a gadget for buying gadgets over the net.'

"Popular astrologer and psychic Malder Tercado's contract with a national Spanish-language TV network was not renewed. Tercado was reportedly surprised by the news...saying he didn't see it coming."

"And now, with the projected sales figures..."

Reading the Leaves.

"Don't worry, you're not alone. There are millions of insignificant, boring, ineffectual people like you..."

"Once we get the performance figures in we give them to Mrs Miggins and her magic cauldron to make sense of them!"

"Here's a free tip for you, kid: learn how to brood. Most people in the world mistake it for depth."

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

"Westwood psychiatric group... How may I direct your cry for help?"

"And then they came out with a desktop model."

"Secondhard carbs"

"Have you ever thought of your needs first?"

"Yes I can read palms and if you don't remove yours from my thigh, you'll be reading my palm with your face!"

Anxiety/More Anxiety