Modernity Maven Gifts

'It's a gadget for buying gadgets over the net.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"I don't have to be a team player, Crawford. I'm the team owner."

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

Man blending in to his chair is reading Optical Illusion Monthly magazine.

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

'Which fashion magazine do you recommend?'

Man carrying his boss.

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

Who Wore It Best?

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

Punch Magazine - "You've got a circulation problem."

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

Jerk Gene

"What kind of crazy management scheme is this?"

"We really have to catch up on our New Yorkers."

A newspaper stand in a rural area.

'How dare you accuse me of sinking this company?'

'Hmm...this new management fad is crazy enough that it might just work...'

'Attention, all department heads: the buck stops there. I've had it!'