Modern Office Maven Gifts

'These teleconferences have become a lot more civil since I installed this 7 second delay.'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

"I don't have to be a team player, Crawford. I'm the team owner."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

"Just go with the workflow."

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

Podiatry. The greated podiatrist of all time, you say? Yep. I studied at his feet.

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

Man carrying his boss.

The end is near

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

Jerk Gene

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

"What kind of crazy management scheme is this?"

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

'How dare you accuse me of sinking this company?'

'Hmm...this new management fad is crazy enough that it might just work...'

'Attention, all department heads: the buck stops there. I've had it!'