Computer Maven Gifts

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

Apples for sale

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"#Win!"

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

Direct Marketing...

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"I don't have to be a team player, Crawford. I'm the team owner."

Trade Show Sherpas

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

"Just go with the workflow."

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'Floppo' lottery rebranding