Office Maven Gifts

"I don’t get it, Jenkins. What are they getting right about employee morale over at the toy factory that we here at JG & Sons Puppy Coffins are getting wrong?"

I'm fast and efficient in the office and out...I can touch type and touch text!

'My goodness, is it fall already, Ms. Smyrka?'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Apples for sale

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

Drool Marks

"#Win!"

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

Direct Marketing...

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"I don't have to be a team player, Crawford. I'm the team owner."

Trade Show Sherpas

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

"Just go with the workflow."

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.