Modernization Maven Gifts

"Our goal is to modernize it but retain the historical flavor."

"I'm thinking about going big."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

Jack of all trades

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"I don't have to be a team player, Crawford. I'm the team owner."

Failure/Due Diligence

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

"Just go with the workflow."

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

Man carrying his boss.

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

"What kind of crazy management scheme is this?"

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

'How dare you accuse me of sinking this company?'

'Hmm...this new management fad is crazy enough that it might just work...'