Modification Maven Gifts

Tattoo shop - "How may I hurt you?"

Novox Genlab - 'Stop!' scientist chases after four legged chicken.

Jack of all trades

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Drool Marks

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

Failure/Due Diligence

"I don't have to be a team player, Crawford. I'm the team owner."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

Your Guide to Winning Movember

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

Man carrying his boss.

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

"A virus ate my homework."

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

Man admires his Cubist Painting.

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

Jerk Gene

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"What kind of crazy management scheme is this?"

'How dare you accuse me of sinking this company?'

'Hmm...this new management fad is crazy enough that it might just work...'