Memorial Maven Gifts

'George, will you please look at me when I'm talking to you?'

If Other Nations Mourned Like the U.S.

"Of course, in life he was allergic to them."

'In memory of our beloved Skippy.'

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

"Was that my pager or yours?"

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"Like that?"

Ski lift mobile

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

Nature Lovers

Pre-Old Blues

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

The sunglasses.

Career Elevator

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

Team Leader

Carbon Dating

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

Pigeons fly into an art museum and perch on sculptures.

The Exhibition at the Royal Academy

The hall of bad ideas.

"Call me Ishmael."

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."

Firearms Museum. Blunderbuss. That's funny, I always thought a "blunderbuss" was a messed-up kiss.

Friends of the Royal Academy - Annual Dinner

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."