Monarchy Maven T-Shirts

The King and His Real Estate Advisors

"Men only want one thing: to form an alliance between your two nations."

'A Connoisseur Examining a Cooper'- George III Inspecting Engraving of Oliver Cromwell

'This doesn't look good -- the masses are huddling.'

Ghostwriting the Bible

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

Invisible clothes

Stonehenge Explained

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

"Like that?"

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

"Kiss me and I'll turn into a Prince. But I have to be honest with you, if asked about it I'll deny the whole sordid affair!"

Moses as a child.

Cover Design for Yellow Book Prospectus for Vol 5 (Not Published)

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

"Do I have to go out again!?"

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

Magic Ring to gain entry into Tolkien Archive

'My crystal ball is in the shop. Pick a fortune cookie.'

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

Life is ghoul

It was a match made in heaven.

Masterpiece?

"He's good with crops, but slow to respond in an emergency."

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

Bleak House

Don't bother Daddy -- he's just upset because Lady Godiva joined the anti-Crusade movement.'