Miracle Maven T-Shirts

'Lord we worship the water you walk on.'

'You can't win -- I turned the water into wine, and then everybody wanted free refills!'

'I do wish he'd stop showing off in front of his friends.'

Moses on a park bench

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Myths and legends...

So Far So Good

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

Team Leader

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

Bleak House

'I sent an employee to a motivational seminar once. He came back and took my job.'

"Last chance, or Max here has ways of making you talk."

'U.S. Manufacturing'

Life is ghoul

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

'Side effects include, headache, dry mouth, muscle fatigue and turning into a frog.'

"Remember you have nothing to fear but fear itself, and me of course!"

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

'It's had the best reviews I've ever written.'

Whodunits

'Poor Adam -- he lost his head start ALREADY.'

Trilby - 'The Moon-dial'.

An empty 'crime' section in a bookhop

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

"You’ll meet a beautiful woman whom your mother will loathe."

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

Doubling Gloucester Cheeses

The cry rang out. "There's gold in that there castle in the sky!" And the great beanstalk rush of 1849 had begun.

Psychic Research Unit.