Molecule Mavens Gifts

There's a popular new health spa down there. The endorphins are having a blast in aerobics. Antibodies are learning kickboxing and the adrenaline is getting some much needed relaxation in the yoga studio. The only problem is the water molecules. Everybody is concerned about them! What's wrong? They haven't been seen since they went into the sauna!

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

'Surely they're not ALL still in their offices!'

'Isn't that the ghastly couple we met last summer in Rock?'

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'

Molecules You Ought to be Aware Of.

Jerk Gene

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

At the Halloween party down there, one fat molecule is dressed as an angel and another as a devil. Makes sense, there are good gars and bad fats. The antibody is wearing a cape. Everybody's been calling him a superhero so he dressed like one. That virus wasn't invited but he sneaked in dressed as the long ranger. He's always showing up where he's not wanted. The ironic thing is the virus is wearing a mask.

Molecules you ought to be aware of...

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

"Gotta go. My ten o'clock is here."

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

"Judy and Chuck were both gelcaps, so their marriage dissolved faster."

'All those opposed, signify by using the usual sign.'

'I envy your metabolism.'

Great events in Chemistry...

"May I suggest we up your medication, sire.

"I might suggest Ritalin."

Molecules You Ought To Be Aware of...

"Take one of these every 4 hours for the side effects from your prescription."

"It needs some work, but it does have good bones."

'Pss-st, Harley-Davidson is up one-and-a-quarter...pass it on.'

'I made a list of bikes I want to look at today. You may want to eat before we go, as this may take awhile.'

It was a short-cut through the hospital kitchens that Albert was first approached by a member of the antibiotic resistance.

'Would you like this placebo in name brand or generic?'

'We've been asked to look out for any possible side effects with this new drug he's on.'

"All in favor of toupees, say aye."

'We've come up with some wonderful antibiotics - but we can't figure out what they're for.'

"I'm glad I found the time to join this meeting, otherwise we wouldn't see each other in years!"

"Fix it so it'll stream out behind, Pierre. I've been assigned to a motorcycle detail."