Mixology Mavens Gifts

'If the country ran short of booze, do you think the government would see some of its strategic reserve?'

Dirty Martini.

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

Shaken not stirred

Espresso Martini Peacock

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

"Call me Ishmael."

There's a popular new health spa down there. The endorphins are having a blast in aerobics. Antibodies are learning kickboxing and the adrenaline is getting some much needed relaxation in the yoga studio. The only problem is the water molecules. Everybody is concerned about them! What's wrong? They haven't been seen since they went into the sauna!

Dracula Admires His Offspring.

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

'This is my new boat. I finally succumbed to pier pressure.'

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

'We're not exact clones - he likes his martini shaken, and I prefer mine stirred.'

"I knew a breakfast meeting would be a mistake."

Just married.

The Nautical Step

"Let 'em try to regulate this!"

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

'I envy your metabolism.'

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

'The part of your brain you used to diagnose what is wrong with you is what is wrong with you.'

"Who needs therapists?!"

“It’s ok to leave the lid up at home but not on a submarine.”

Alcoholidays.

-"For instance, this gin and tonic does not have a single molecule of gin in it!" -"It's from the staff canteen, right!"

Isambard Kingdom Brunel

A Woman And A Man Discuss The Passage To America.

A pack of icebergs out hunting

"Two of everything he said, including woodworm!!"

Heyyy, don't worry about a thing. One more energy drink and I'll have you sliced and sutured in no time!

"Can you recommend a wine that tastes like a good beer?"

'OBSOLETE: Any really expensive Heating & Air Conditioning system you bought last year.'