Meditation Mavens Gifts

Mindfulness hour.

Thinking Gears

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

'Surely they're not ALL still in their offices!'

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

"I'm in securities." "I'm in insecurities."

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

Medieval headlines.

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

'Where the hell's my app for happiness?'

'I wasn't responding well to the pills but my doctor finally got my mood stabilized.'

Working from OM.

'We all have trade-offs in life, Mrs. Quigley. I wanted to be a bartender.'

"That's the Ommbudsman."

It doesn't get any better than this --- Tai Chi with chai tea!

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

Analyst and patient

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

"I said 'follow,' not stalk your bliss!"

"So, you're the new guy. My sources tell me you bring a lot to the mat."

Dracula Admires His Offspring.

First you say I should "know thyself" and then you tell me to extinguish my ego!

"I feel we're making progress."

Meditator thinks about shoes and chocolate.

'If only I could accept that I can't accept being someone who finds it hard to accept acceptance from those who accept me for the person that I can't accept I really am.'

"Gotta go. My ten o'clock is here."

'Yes, we are going in circles. How do you feel about that?'

'I feel wired. I want to feel wireless.'

Psychologist to patient: 'Your time is up, but I'd like to see you again next Flabberday at fifty-three o'clock.'