Mantra Mavens Gifts

'Just in case I forget it, I keep my mantra on my Ipod.'

Muscles

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

"A Bill of Rights? - Don't you TRUST me?"

'Surely they're not ALL still in their offices!'

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

'Sorry, you're just not built right for weightlifting.'

'I wasn't responding well to the pills but my doctor finally got my mood stabilized.'

Dracula Admires His Offspring.

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

That's nothing. You should see what he writes in the comments section.

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

Body Building Mishap

"Gotta go. My ten o'clock is here."

"My biggest strength is probably my quads."

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

"I love strong coffee."

strong man bends an iron bar

'It's the people downstairs again.'

'All those opposed, signify by using the usual sign.'

"Actually I'm doing this to stand out more in the scholarly community."

'Leonard was pleased with his bouffant mane from The Precious Roar.'

"It needs some work, but it does have good bones."

"Here's a free tip for you, kid: learn how to brood. Most people in the world mistake it for depth."

"We at Megacorp are very supportive of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazcylone' to enhance the experience."

'...Now we'd be expecting turning water into a decent '67 vintage at the VERY LEAST!'

"Possible side effects include disharmony, lack of oneness, and blurred third-eye vision."

"If you're happy and you know it, stick with your dosage."

'Do you know if there's a candy machine in the building?'

"All in favor of toupees, say aye."

Grump Horse and Rider