Motto Maven Gifts

"Here are the finalists for the corporate motto."

Keep the Status Quoing.

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Apples for sale

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

"#Win!"

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

Direct Marketing...

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

Trade Show Sherpas

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

Time Out For Teddy

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'...she still can't manage a decent sports metaphor.'

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

Career Elevator

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

Honesty in retail

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

Human Brain