Metaphor Maven Gifts

'...she still can't manage a decent sports metaphor.'

Childhood's End

"Inside you there are two wolves..."

"I've been feeling a bit empty lately."

'It wasn't until the elephant finally up and left the room, that they dared discuss him...'

"Stay close. This looks like a rough neighborhood for metaphors."

'You talk in riddles!' 'I'M A POET!

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Apples for sale

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

Ghostwriting the Bible

"#Win!"

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

Direct Marketing...

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

Invisible clothes

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

Trade Show Sherpas

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

Stonehenge Explained

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

"Kiss me and I'll turn into a Prince. But I have to be honest with you, if asked about it I'll deny the whole sordid affair!"

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand