Mysticism Maven Gifts

'What can I tell you, we're short-staffed.'

Priest: '...For richer or poorer,in sickness and in health...' Bride: 'Wait a minute! I need to consult my astrologer on this!'

Thinking Gears

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Ghostwriting the Bible

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Stonehenge Explained

Invisible clothes

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

Myths and legends...

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"Kiss me and I'll turn into a Prince. But I have to be honest with you, if asked about it I'll deny the whole sordid affair!"

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

Moses as a child.

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

"I'm in securities." "I'm in insecurities."

'...she still can't manage a decent sports metaphor.'

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

Cover Design for Yellow Book Prospectus for Vol 5 (Not Published)

"Do I have to go out again!?"

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'Where the hell's my app for happiness?'