Mantra Maven Gifts

'Mismatched Mantras'

'That mantra you gave me is politically incorrect!'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Apples for sale

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"#Win!"

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

Direct Marketing...

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

Trade Show Sherpas

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'...she still can't manage a decent sports metaphor.'

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

Career Elevator

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Honesty in retail

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."