Mantra Mechanic Gifts

Enlightened Cursing

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

'The position carries no health benefits but we do give you a mantra which you can recite daily to promote good health.'

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

Poetry repairman

Pigs - Live Laugh Lard

'That's it agreed then - the company's new motto is going to be 'We didn't do anything illegal'.'

"You know me. Never criticize,always optimize. The eternal Ms. Masking Tape."

Today is the first day of the rest of your nine lives.

"Psst! I got mantras. You need a mantra? Mantras right here..."

' ... Ohm ... Ohm ... Ohm ...'

'I can't believe they're using my mantra to sell beer.'

"No Wilson, I don't want to hear your daily mantra."

"Is something bothering you?"

"When you've finished your affirmations, dear, don't forget to put your trousers on."

Chicken Affirmations

'Oh, well, I had to take it in to get the oil changed anyway.'

Dial-A-Prayer and Dial-A-Mantra

"I keep hearing a knocking noise."

'She will not call on me, she will not call on me, she. . .'

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

"I'm healthy. It's the wealthy and wise part that's been a challenge."

"Like the boy scouts, Preacher; always prepared."

Buy Low and Sell High Gurus

Shape up

'I used to take life one day at a time. Now I take it one crisis at a time.'

'Mismatched Mantras'

"N-n-n-n-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m."

'Just in case I forget it, I keep my mantra on my Ipod.'

'That mantra you gave me is politically incorrect!'

The Teenage Mantra: You don't understand...

"Oom..."

"That's my new mantra. . . 'woulda coulda shoulda'?"

'We've run all the tests doc and I can't find a thing wrong with it. It must be psychological.'